EMPATHIC LISTENING

We are filled with our own rightness, our own autobiography. We want to be understood. Our conversations become collective monologues, and we never really understand what is going on inside another human being.

When another person speaks, we are usually ‘listening’ at one of four levels

We may be ignoring another person,, not really listening at all. We may practice pretending. “Yeah. Uh-huh. Right”. We may practice selective listening, hearing only certain parts of the conversation. We often do this when we are listening to the constant chatter of preschool child. Or we ay even practice attentive listening, paying attention and focusing energy on the words that are being used. But very few of us practice the fifth level, the highest form of listening, empathic listening.

Empathic listening is listening with intent to understand

Empathy is not sympathy. Sympathy is a form of agreement, a form of judgment and it is sometimes the more appropriate emotion and response. But people often feed on sympathy. It makes them dependent. The essence of empathic listening is not that you agree with someone; it is that you fully, deeply understand that person emotionally as well as intellectually